Do NOT Disturb: It's Time For Me!

It is OK to not be socially active all the time!

Belonging is something that is believed to be a need to fit in with society and we are taught this early in life by being encouraged to have friends, more so helping parents to feel like their child is ‘normal’ and ‘fitting in’ with everyone else. With day care starting from as early as 3 months interaction with others and having people around soon becomes the natural everyday life.

We know that when people are grouped together there will always be a leader, and most will follow more out of the necessity for acceptance. Sadly those who don’t need that acceptance from an outside source may be seen as difficult or uncooperative and a label is then often attached. But just because a child is not naturally as socially interactive with others placing a tag on them that will, in most cases, remain with them into adulthood makes them place themselves even further out on the edges of social circles.

Balancing time alone equally with that spent with others, should be something that is encouraged at an early age so it can develop strong self-confidence as well as making a person self-aware of their own needs to stay healthy, mentally, emotionally, and physically. Social interaction has become more intense and, with the age group becoming younger that most social media is aimed at, it could make those who choose not to participate more likely to feel there is something different or wrong with them.

The reality is that it is not ‘normal’ in needing constant contact with others and if we look back just 50 years, people were less connected to one another on a daily basis. But life carried on without the incessant need of being emotionally bolstered by each other and stress, anxiety, insomnia, and childhood diagnostics were things that were seen less in people than they are today. Because knowing what people are doing 24/7 can become a huge responsibility, having to keep up the pretence of being interested in everything that someone somewhere has either said, done or posted, can be draining mentally and emotionally. And for a person whose confidence only comes from others validation of them, this leaves them at a higher risk of falling emotionally and in time mentally into a very dark place when the responses back are less than what was expected.

In later life struggling, because on an emotional level feeling that nothing can be done alone, is generally the symptom of a lifetime where no amount of time was ever left unoccupied or without the presence of someone else being there. The human body and its mind need times of complete solitude to bring back natural balances of energy, this is a form of blue- print inside everyone and is an important integral part of self-survival. This can only be reached when alone and not distracted to be able to connect on a deeper level with oneself and discover the self-confidence which is in us all.

True confidence is something that everyone has within themselves, but it can get pushed inwardly the more we interact especially in groups, with others. Mainly because we are taught to socially appease people and so do not allow ourselves to truthfully express what we are thinking of feeling and it is this which can cause inner conflict and make confidence harder to find!

A false sense of self-confidence is like make- up applied daily and at the end of each day simply washed away. Ask yourself when was the last time you actually spent some time alone? If the answer is the last time you took a shower, then maybe some time spent in solitude is long overdue!

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